The Parlermaid for PM (Campaign): What Worries Kiwis About Our Temu Government?

Things are not going as we expected them to. Why has our coalition government not lived up to our expectations, and what can we do about it? The answer is: exactly what we did last time we ended up with a government we didn't want who wasn't representing us the way we had hoped - vote them out, and replace them.

Here we are, having got rid of Jacinda Adern and her promoted PM Chris Hipkins by exercising our voting powers as a nation. The 2023 New Zealand general election resulted in a new distribution of seats in Parliament, with votes across various parties.The major center-right party, National, secured approximately 40-45% of the party vote. The center-left party, Labour, received roughly 30-35% of the vote. ACT Party: A right-wing libertarian party, received around 6-8%, and New Zealand First, a nationalist and populist party, approximately 3-5%. We ended up with a coalition that made a number of promises to us if we gave them our support to be elected:

 National Party Promises

• Economic Growth: Focus on stabilizing the economy, reducing government debt, and supporting business development.
• Tax Policy: Potential tax reductions and simplified tax laws to incentivize investment.
• Law and Order: Tougher measures against crime, including increased funding for police and stricter penalties.
• Housing: Improving housing affordability through supply-side reforms, reducing regulation, and encouraging private development.
• Health and Education: Efficiency improvements in health and education systems, with an emphasis on accountability.

Act Party Promises

• Reducing Regulation: Cutting bureaucracy to promote entrepreneurship and business growth.
• Law and Order: Stronger law enforcement policies, support for victims, and tougher penalties.
• Economic Freedom: Lower taxes and smaller government to encourage individual and business freedoms.
• Freedom and Personal Choice: Policies emphasizing individual liberty, including issues related to health mandates and civil liberties.

New Zealand First Promises

• Migration Control: Restricting immigration to ease pressure on infrastructure and services.
• Supporting Rural Communities: Investment in agriculture, fisheries, and regional development.
• Law and Order: Similar to other coalition partners, promising to strengthen law enforcement and crime prevention.
• Cost of Living: Policies to ease financial pressures on families, such as targeted benefits or support measures.

Overall Coalition Priorities

• Fiscal Responsibility: Controlling government spending and debt.
• Law and Order: A focus on reducing crime rates.
• Economic Reform: Encouraging private sector growth, reducing regulation, and promoting investment.
• Immigration and Rural Support: Managing immigration levels and supporting regional and rural communities.

Nevertheless, New Zealand still grumbles. And frankly, we have every right to. We paid for the product presented to us, but on delivery we realised we had been delivered a Temu Government.

Problem is, if you don't like any of the parties or representatives on offer - who to vote for? So here I sit, thinking to myself, "well, f*ckitall, why not start a revolution?" The Parlermaid is therefore officially tossing her lavender-perfumed hanky in the ring.

 As of early 2025, the top issues concerning New Zealanders generally include the following:

Cost of Living and Inflation: Many Kiwis are concerned about rising prices, particularly in housing, groceries, and energy. Housing affordability remains a critical issue, with high property prices and rental costs impacting many families. According to the New Zealand Herald (2024), inflation rates have held steady, but cost-of-living pressures persist.

There isn't a single quick fix to the cost-of-living crisis, but a common, straightforward plan is to improve housing affordability—for example, by increasing housing supply through relaxed planning regulations and supporting affordable housing initiatives. Property owners should be encouraged to add capital value to their homes by adding on granny flats and properly designed, healthy, and safe sleepouts. Not only does it provide rental properties to the market, it supports the income of the property owner. The primary hindrance to this concept is council approval costs, which the Parlermaid would legislate to minimise or eradicate. This can help reduce rent and property pressures over time, easing financial pressure on households.

Housing Crisis and Homelessness: The housing shortage and homelessness continue to be significant social issues. The government has been under pressure to increase affordable housing stock and provide support for those living rough. Reports from the Crisis and Housing Foundation (2024) highlight ongoing challenges in this area.

Living rough is no longer easily written off by the more comfortable as a 'lifestyle choice'. During the Adern Apocalypse, we saw many people reduced to living in campervans or cars, tents, or simply thrown out onto the streets. Many of them never made it back into the housing and rental markets because of the heavy costs involved in doing so. In addressing this situation as a factor in the cost-of-living crisis we could also resolve this problem.

Health System Strain: Overburdened healthcare services, including long waiting times and workforce shortages, remain a concern. Recent reports from the New Zealand Medical Association (2024) echo widespread anxiety about the capacity and resilience of the health system.

During the Covid era, Adern and her cronies took on approximately $70-80 billion NZD in new debt during the COVID response period to mitigate economic and social impacts, which effectively doubled the country's existing debt levels.

Despite this, little was spent on improving New Zealand's health infrastructure, which one would have thought would be the key to preparation for a pandemic that forecast massive hospital admissions. New Zealand suffered all the 'Flatten the Curve' impacts designed to relieve pressure on our health system, only to find its leaders did nothing to contribute to the reason it wanted us to do so.We did our part - now its time for some results!

We need to invest better in our health assets, encourage and promote nursing as a career, support the training and employment of fresh blood doctors, abolish the Medical Council,  and abolish the Nursing Council - both of whom are self-serving blood-suckers who prey on our medical staff. DHB's need strict oversight to ensure that they don't overstep the bounds of their role in management of the regional assets.

Climate Change and Environmental Issues: Climate impacts, such as rising sea levels, extreme weather events, and environmental conservation, are important to many New Zealanders, particularly given the country's dependence on natural resources and tourism. Policies and actions related to climate change are frequently debated in the media and political discourse (Stuff.co.nz, 2024).

Climate variability is natural and recent changes (if any are significant, which is hotly debated) could be part of Earth's natural climate cycles rather than primarily caused by human activity. The Parlermaid  contends that:

• The climate has always changed over Earth's history due to natural factors like volcanic activity, solar radiation variations, or orbital changes.
• The current warming trend could be temporary or part of a natural cycle, not necessarily driven by human-produced greenhouse gases.
• Climate models are imperfect and predictions based on them are uncertain.

New Zealand is investing billions of NZD annually in climate-related policies, infrastructure, and resilience programs—roughly $2-4 billion NZD per year. We need to withdraw from The Paris Agreement, which requires us to cut emissions, back away from the United Nations (UNFCCC), and rethink our participation in programmes like the Wellington Declaration.

Economic Uncertainty and Employment: Concerns about economic stability, job security, and future growth are prevalent amid global economic fluctuations. The New Zealand Institute of Economic Research (2024) reports cautious optimism but notes lingering uncertainties.

To address international economic uncertainty and its impact on New Zealand, as well as to improve unemployment rates, The Parlermaid would:

• Expand and strengthen trade relationships beyond traditional partners to reduce dependency on any single market. 
• Build resilience in key sectors like agriculture, tourism, and technology by supporting innovation and diversification. 
• Develop strategic reserves and flexible fiscal policies to buffer against global shocks.
• Implement prudent financial management to sustain investor confidence. 
• Boost productivity through technological innovation, workforce skills development, and infrastructure investment to ensure economic competitiveness.
• Enhance vocational training, re-skilling programs, and higher education to match the evolving labor market demands. Focus on sectors with growth potential like technology, clean energy, and healthcare.
• Provide grants, low-interest loans, and incentives to foster startup growth and business expansion.
• Encourage economic activity in rural and underserved regions to create local jobs.
• Implement incentive programs for businesses that hire young, long-term unemployed, or marginalized groups.
• Simplify labor laws and reduce bureaucratic hurdles to make it easier for businesses to hire and expand.

 Additional Policy:

The Parlermaid would also look at:

• Public and formal acknowledgement of the harms done to the people under the Adern-led government's Covid-19 Response
•  Rewriting New Zealand's planning for future events like Covid-19, including rethinking the powers granted to individuals in the event of national emergency
• Withdrawing from the Treaty of Waitangi, and cancelling all active claims pursuant to it. Abolish the Waitangi Tribunal. Review all legislation referring to the Treaty.
• Rewriting the NZ Bill of Rights Act to ensure that Section 5 can never be used against the people of New Zealand again, overlooking their rights in favour of the Government's whims.

 

References:

    New Zealand Herald, 2024
    Crisis and Housing Foundation Report, 2024
    New Zealand Medical Association, 2024
    Stuff.co.nz, 2024
    New Zealand Institute of Economic Research, 2024